free flying soul

"this world has nothing for me and this world has everything...all that I could want and nothing that I need"

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Location: Macclesfield, North Carolina, United States

Born: 1970; Graduated High School: 1988; Married: 1991; Children: 1996, 2000, 2005; Graduated College: 2008; Figured Out This Faith Thing: In Progress

Friday, June 24, 2005

Sweet Is The Night

At 7:30 tomorrow morning we will be welcoming our daughter into this world. She will be our third child and we are just as excited as we were when our first son was born. We have been eagerly anticipating her arrival and we are happy that the time is now upon us.

But I will be honest...I'm terrified. Both of our children have been born via C-Section and she will be as well. It's majory surgery and there are all sorts of risks involved. Our last son was born amidst all sorts of complications and we almost made the decision to stop right then. But we waited and now God has blessed us with this child. We are thankful but still very aware of what COULD go wrong.

I guess some of my anxiety can be traced back to my own childhood. My parents lost a little girl when I was eight years old. My brother was four. For the record, our oldest son just turned nine and our youngest is four. Our boys are approximately the same age that my brother and I were. I am so scared that something will go wrong. I'm not going to lie about it. I'm having a really difficult time just turning over my anxiety and worries to God and letting Him get me through all of this.


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