free flying soul

"this world has nothing for me and this world has everything...all that I could want and nothing that I need"

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Location: Macclesfield, North Carolina, United States

Born: 1970; Graduated High School: 1988; Married: 1991; Children: 1996, 2000, 2005; Graduated College: 2008; Figured Out This Faith Thing: In Progress

Monday, March 30, 2009

Not Sure

Have you even been unsure of your place in life? I remember being in high school and having doubts and fears about the future. That is a normal part of growing up and we all go through something similar. The same sort of feelings arise during times of change. Graduating college, getting married, having children and changing careers can all throw you for a loop. I have done them all and have come out on the other side…but I am still unsure. Iam rapidly approaching 40 and I have not figured this whole “life” thing out. I think I know what my calling is but the doors remain shut. At what point do you stop and ask, “Am I wrong?” Have I spent the last four years in vain? I am glad that I went back to school and finished. There was always a feeling of failure hovering over me. I never managed to complete anything until I finally graduated from college. But here I sit…a year later…wondering if it was worth it. The last two ministries I was involved with ended prematurely and have got me wondering again. Did I go through all of the crap I went through just to be back in a restaurant…working insane hours? I confess…I just do not get it. I am frustrated and I am not sure. I am not sure about anything. This faith thing…man…what a ride.


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