They Broke My Heart

King's X broke my heart....they really did. I should've known something was wrong when I popped in Ear Candy and gave it a listen.

Run from Ear Candy

Yeah she told me, that if I wasn't good
He would get me, make me pay for everything I did
And she said that everybody bad would burn in Hell
I did what she told me and I became someone else
I had to run I had to hide
In the world outside
A better chance, out there
If God is everywhere
I wait for nothing, take my chances let it ride
Maybe there's an answer but it's buried by the lies
Somebody told me that it's just a waste of my time
But I can't get rid of all those bags I left behind
I had to run I had to hide
In the world outside
A better chance, out there
If God is everywhere

Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for an artist honestly searching for truth and even baring his soul for all to hear. I have often written things that expressed disillusionment and doubt and I believe that it helped me sort through those feelings. I have even been overtly critical of things I observed in the church and I feel that I was justified in doing so.

But here's where I have a problem with Doug's lyrics. He expresses doubt and he honestly confronts feelings that I can relate to but instead of working through those things he has given up on finding the truth. He has thrown up his hands and run into the arms of the world. I find it sad that a once professing Christian has become so jaded that he can't look past the imperfections in the church and feels that his only answer is to become part of the world.

Looking For Love from Ear Candy

I want to, I got to, I need to move on down the line.
If not to, to make me, I should have stood behind the lines.
What is this, what have I, What am I? Not what you see.
So take me, so use me, I'm stupid I don't want to
Oh, Lookin' for love
A standard, a program, religion burns me at the stake.
I questioned, I listened, I worshipped. How can I relate?
I worked so hard at it ... oh Lord the bruises and the breaks.
I just don't, don't get it. I guess I lost my faith.
Oh, Lookin' for love

Once again, Doug has clearly let the failures of others negatively affect his faith. I don't know if someone personally wounded him of if he just became disgusted with church as a whole but he has decided that only he can make himself happy. It's one of the oldest and most fatal mistakes man has ever made. Works-based salvation doesn't work....it CAN'T work. Whenever we try to save ourselves or let someone other than God save us, we end up in the same situation Doug Pinnick sings about. Pain, confusion, fear and loss of faith.It really breaks my heart.

Believe from Manic Moonlight

If your back is pinned against the wall
And the stress is killing you,
And the cross you carry on your back
Makes it hard for you to move
In yourself believe, it's all right
In yourself believe, you're all right
If you ran away to loose your soul
And you're scared to death you're wrong,
If you're past the point of turning back
And your innocence is gone
In yourself believe, it's all right
In yourself believe, it's all right
If it's something that you can't forget
That somebody did to youIf you've had your fill of being down
Then there's nothing left to prove,
In yourself believe, it's all right
In yourself believe, you're all right

King's X used to write some of the most interesting lyrics that I had ever read. I was impressed that three stellar musicians were writing such incredible songs and managing to express Christian themes without bogging down in the muck that makes up so much of Contemporary Christian Music. They were able to put ideas and thoughts into words that defied the unimaginative and often watered down lyrics passed off as Christian art. King's X were artists using their gifts to comment on life and they did so from an unashamedly Biblical viewpoint.

I guess that their slow "fall from grace" disturbed many of the Christians who held them up as the saviors of Christian music. I, for one, was extremely hurt when I read of Jerry's struggles and Doug's apparent loss of faith, but I just wasn't able to let them go. They continued to write interesting music and to touch upon things in a way that I found honest and refreshing. But after listening to Manic Moonlight again this week it dawned on me just how far they have gone.

The above set of lyrics illustrates my point. On earlier albums, especially their first three, King's X often confessed their faith and trust in God and made it clear that He was the answer. They never mentioned the name Jesus but it was obvious to those listening that the King they referred to was not setting up an earthly throne. It truly breaks my heart to hear Doug sing lines like the ones I have quoted. He has decided that we, as humans, are good enough to get ourselves through trouble and trials. How I miss the days when He sang of waiting for New Jerusalem to come down. I miss the days of Faith, Hope and Love. I miss my King's X.