free flying soul

"this world has nothing for me and this world has everything...all that I could want and nothing that I need"

My Photo
Location: Macclesfield, North Carolina, United States

Born: 1970; Graduated High School: 1988; Married: 1991; Children: 1996, 2000, 2005; Graduated College: 2008; Figured Out This Faith Thing: In Progress

Wednesday, August 19, 2009


Sometime I want to give
Sometime I want to take
Sometime I want to run
Sometime I want to stay

Sometime I want to love
Sometime I want to hate
Sometime I want to build
Sometime I want to break

Sometime I want to live
Sometime I want to die
Sometime I want to believe
Sometime I want to get high and fly

- King's X

I really do relate to these lyrics...with the possible exception to the get high part...but I guess I might want to drink a bit sometime. It's funny how we let our feelings dictate the way we act and respond to life. Even Christians let their feelings get the best of them.

I have really odd mood swings these days and it's all I can do to just let go and give it to God. Surrender is so hard when you can just give in to whatever feeling happens to be in control at the time. I am trying but it seems so hard. It's not easy for me to let the Spirit lead me. I want to kick and scream and give in.

To paraphrase King's X - Oh LORD...the bruises and the breaks. I just don't get it. Sometimes I feel like I've lost my faith.

I need some revival. I need the breath of God to blow my way. I need to sit still and be quiet and just wait.

It's so hard sometime.